Stay-at-home mom books Europe trip to buy herself a $40k horse, husband suggests he and the kids join the vacation, she refuses: 'The kids might spook the horses'

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    Update: AITA for suggesting my sister let her husband take the kids on vacation

    I posted a few weeks ago about my sister who won't take time off of work to go on vacation with her husband because she doesn't want them to have those memories without her.
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    Cheezburger Image 10549029120
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    WELL some interesting developments have happened and this will be long. Background: My sister works but it's unpaid and part- time.
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    She helps out a family friend on their farm. This family friend has farm hands for manual labor, idk my sister's day to day tasks but she's described herself as being the emotional support human to the animals.
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    She started this job in 2021 after being a SAHM for around 6 years. She has a law degree but never practiced. Her husband has a high paying position at one of the big four.
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    I promise all of this is relevant. I came back from a short trip and brought some souvenirs for my nephews. I swung by their house Wednesday to drop them off.
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    My BIL and I chatted for a bit, mostly about my trip. He started talking about how he is going on a work trip and wishes my sister would go with him but that she won't take off of work.
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    I'm just nodding and saying things like "oh, interesting" and "huh" very noncommital because I'm not looking involved again.
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    Then he starts telling me about her new hobby that she's picked up because of work. Horseback riding. She wants a horse.
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    She is traveling to Europe in a few weeks with the family friend to buy a horse. Apparently all the best horses come from Europe?
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    She's never expressed any interest in this before but I guess she's a horse-girl now. He said it's going to cost at least 40k to import this horse.
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    I'm absolutely dumbfounded by this. She won't travel with her husband and kids, she won't let him travel with the kids, but she'll go off to Europe to buy a horse.
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    Somehow my BIL is cool with bankrolling this. 40k is what most people make in a year! I'm not poor but I can't imagine spending that much money on anything other than a car, house, or medical bills.
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    Then my BIL starts telling me about how he wanted to take the kids somewhere while she's in Europe but she basically said no.
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    He had also suggested turning this into a family trip, they could all go, she could pick out a horse, and then explore a bit.
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    She nixed that too saying that she didn't want to have to worry about the kids while traveling, it would complicate the trip, and the kids might spook the horses.
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    So he suggested meeting there once she picked out a horse and they could stay there longer. She declined that too saying she would have to miss work.
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    My BIL was clearly frustrated and upset, I said maybe therapy would help but he said they're already in therapy.
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    There was a family get together today and my sister was excitedly telling us about her upcoming trip and the horses she's planning to look at.
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    Horse stalls in a horse riding school
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    My mom asked her how her husband felt about all this and my sister said "I've decided to stop taking his feelings into account."
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    My mom then pointed out that that probably isn't a good attitude to have towards your husband especially when he pays for everything she wants.
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    My sister said this was something she needed because she's so overwhelmed and stressed these days. My mom did not react well to this.
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    She raised her voice at my sister. She told her "I have no idea what you have to be stressed about.
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    Your husband pays for a housekeeper, he pays for a nanny, you don't need to worry about money, your work isn't mentally or physically taxing.
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    Your husband is an active father who pulls his weight. All I ever hear from you is complaints about how hard your life is."
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    My sister got p ed and they were both yelling over each other. Thank God the kids were playing with their dad outside because my sister started saying how she regrets having children and that they've ruined her life.
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    I was shocked because her kids are smart, funny, well-behaved, mostly self- sufficient, and overall just great kids.
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    I also don't understand why she would oppose her husband traveling with just the kids if she regretted them. Wouldn't that give her time away from them?
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    Anyway, the whole thing ended when my sister told my mom she's a narcissist, that it's her fault she's like this and that my mom hates seeing her happy.
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    My mom told my sister to get out of the house off her property immediately.
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    On her way out my sister said to me "you should have defended me but you just stood there. You're just as bad as mom." ?!
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    I don't want to get involved in any of this drama but I'm not sure if I should give her husband a heads up about what she said about the kids.
  • 34
    They're in therapy together, I assume this must be a topic they've discussed. Idk, it's all so strange, my sister isn't normally like this.

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